Do’s and Don’ts For Being Your Daughter’s Best Role Model

Mother: a female parent who raises her offspring.

Daughter: a female that is the offspring of a mother.

The terms “mother” and “daughter” are quite simple to define, right? Most of us are already aware of what it means for someone to be a mother and what it means for someone to be a daughter. What is hard to define, however, is the exemplary relationship that the two develop.

Many moms believe that their daughters’ first role model is Superwoman or Beyoncé. The truth is, a mother is her daughter’s first role model. In a girl’s first moments of innocent life, she is already beginning to watch her mother. She watches the way that her mother speaks, eats, drinks, sleeps, walks, etc. And as she is watching, she is taking tiny mental notes — notes that she will closely study.

Contrary to popular belief, there is no right or wrong way to mother your child. Every mother is dealt a different hand and has to play her hand to the best of her ability. While there is no right or wrong way to be a mother to your daughter, there are some things that may be more beneficial for mothers to do with and/or around their daughters to be better role models and promote happy, healthy lifestyles for them.

Here are some examples of what mothers should and shouldn’t do to be positive role models for their daughters.

Don’t use the “do as I say, not as I do” trick.

This is a phrase that many daughters have heard from their mothers for centuries. In some cases, this order is effective. In other cases, it is not. Mothers should strive to be the women that they want their daughters to become. When mothers behave poorly, they create a toxic environment that will impede positive growth for their daughters.

Do engage in constructive activities.

Although mothers may feel like their daughters would rather hang out with their peers, it wouldn’t hurt for them to make suggestions about fun, productive activities for them to do together. If you’re a mother that enjoys art, for example, encourage your daughter to visit an art museum with you. This will give her a chance to explore something that you love and potentially adopt the same hobby. You both will have something to bond over, giving you both reason to associate more often. Then, you’ll be one step closer to being the ideal role model for your daughter that you aspire to be.

Don’t give up on their hopes and dreams.

A wise woman, Whitney Houston, once said, “teach them well and let them lead the way.” If you’re a mother and you know what you want and how to achieve it, go for it! Don’t send the message to your daughter that it’s okay to not chase their dreams. Show your daughter that she can defy odds, no matter what statistics or the people around her may say.

Do remind your daughter(s) and yourself that you both are only human.

Even when people have good intentions, they are bound to make mistakes at some point. Mothers should forgive themselves for their mistakes (those that involve their daughters and those that do not), correct their mistakes as best as they can and confidently progress. Watching their mother take steps toward success, despite her missteps, lets daughters know that they can (and should) do the same.