‘The Bachelor’ GOAT: Kaitlyn Bristowe and Sex Positivity

When the pandemic hit, Bachelor Nation was crushed to find out that filming for the upcoming season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette” was being postponed indefinitely. Fans filled their time briefly with a new spin-off called “Listen to Your Heart,” in which candidates competed in a singing competition while simultaneously trying to find love.

Now, ABC has given us another creation with “The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons—Ever!” Each episode condenses all the drama of an entire past season into just two hours, including newly added commentary from director and host Chris Harrison.

During the series, Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe reflected on how, even though she ultimately didn’t pick Nick Viall, being intimate with him was part of her journey. Her candor about the moment has created a new standard for female sex positivity on the long-running show.

On Monday, fans revisited Bristowe’s iconic season of “The Bachelorette” from 2015. The recap was colored by the fact that most fans already knew who she chose—and knew that the relationship ultimately didn’t last. This time around, winning suitor Shawn Booth was given slightly more of the ‘villain edit,’ while runner-up Viall completely stole the show.

Kaitlyn Bristowe and Nick Viall at the Final Rose Ceremony

Bristowe’s season was highly dramatic for many reasons, but one of the most discussed moments, at the time, was when she broke tradition and became the first known Bachelorette to sleep with a candidate before the Fantasy Suites. She faced slut-shaming both on and off of the show from fans and a male contestant, but she stood her ground against all of them. Bristowe told critics in 2015, “When you judge me, you do not define me, you define yourself.”

During the recap, Harrison brought on different guests to discuss her decision to be intimate with Viall and how it affected the franchise. Former Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas Stagliano of season 4 said that of all the questions she gets about her time on the show, “People question me to this day on what happened in the fantasy suite. I think that’s their number one question: Did you or did you not have sex with someone in the Fantasy Suite?”

Stagliano continued, “And I don’t know why that’s their first question, because sometimes I feel like the Bachelors aren’t put in that position. They don’t get asked what happens in the Fantasy Suite. And I still commend Kaitlyn that she stood her ground and the fact that she knew she was attracted to a man, as a grown woman, and made a decision to explore that.”

Current Bachelorette Clare Crawley, whose season has not yet begun filming, thanked the women who came before her because she now feels like she can make these kinds of decisions for herself. “I commend [Kaitlyn] for it,” she said. “She is a woman that follows her heart, and I have nothing but pure love for people who follow their passion.”

The hit television series has always had controversy and conversation around the topic of sex. Bachelor Colton Underwood’s virginity was turned into a marketing tool. Not only did contestants compete to win his heart and hand in marriage, but also to be the woman to whom he would lose his virginity.

In 2019, Bachelorette Hannah Brown famously responded to contestant Luke P. after he slut-shamed her for sleeping with other contestants in the Fantasy Suites, “I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me.”

Fans reacted with overwhelmingly positive support, and in response to those that attacked her, Bristowe defended Brown via Twitter. She wrote, “Women can have sex if they choose, and women can wait till marriage if they choose. Point is, ITS THEIR CHOICE.”

Kaitlyn Bristowe and Hannah Brown

There has always been a double standard—both on the reality show and in real life—when it comes to men and women having sex. Women face far harsher criticism when they chose to be intimate before marriage.

Despite backlash, Bristowe doesn’t regret her decision. At the end of the recap on Monday, she said, “I didn’t want there to be any shame around [my sexuality].”