Family

Are Good Mothers Losing Custody to Rich Men?

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by Annette Johnson

In child custody cases, courts must decide who is the best primary caregiver for the child(ren). Wealthy men are obviously better parents based on the child custody judgments that they are consistently winning. Just this month, the rapper Ludacris won full custody of his 13-month-old daughter, Cai. The child’s mother, Tamika Fuller, said, prior to the judgment, that he was trying to win custody to get out of paying child support, which was apparently $7,000 per month.

Ludacris joins a list of wealthy men, including Usher Raymond, Dwyane Wade and Deion Sanders, who have gotten full custody of their children. Historically, however, courts have granted custody to the mothers, reasoning that the woman had already been providing most of the child’s primary custodial care and would typically provide more stability than a single man. So what has changed? The main difference is that more men are actually fighting for full custody than in years past. Some are questioning the motive for this move, though. If a man seeks custody of his children, is he suggesting that his ex is a bad mother? Do these men want to be more hands-on fathers or are they simply trying to get out of child support?

If she is an “unfit mother” or she is “crazy,” as he asserts, why would a man have one much less two or more children with her? Shouldn’t a judge likewise take his mental faculties or lack of good judgment into consideration? In addition, if a man is wealthy, he can obviously afford to pay child support, but that doesn’t mean he wants to pay it. He may argue in court that he can give his children a better lifestyle, but what he may actually be saying is, “I rather she not benefit anymore from my money. She is probably not using it for the child anyway.”

Are children better off with the wealthier parent? The truth is that people who earn lots of money usually have to stay busy working to keep their income at a certain level. In the case of Usher vs. Tameka Raymond, she argued that nannies and relatives would be the children’s primary caretakers because he is so busy. Even given that fact, Usher was granted full custody of his two sons.

Women’s incomes are another factor that has caused a shift toward men prevailing in child custody cases. As more women join executive ranks, become entrepreneurs or advance in their careers, one side effect is that their role in their children’s lives is deemed as no more significant than a man’s. In fact, more men are having to play a greater role in their children’s daily activities and even becoming stay-at-home dads, allowing their wives to foster a high-paying career. The number of men who regularly care for their children under age five increased from 19 percent in 1988 to 32 percent in 2010, according to the U.S. Census Bureau . These fathers are not only winning custody, but are getting awarded child and spousal support. AAML reports that 56% of its member attorneys have indicated that more women are paying child support now.

Here are some famous women who’ve had to pay child support:

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